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StandTall after abuse

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The bruises may fade, but the emotional and psychological scars take a lot more time to heal. We want every woman to know they are supported, to get help to overcome their trauma, and to stand tall again after abuse.

Immediate Danger

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If you or your children are in immediate danger, call 999!

 

If you are deaf, deafened, hard of hearing or have a speech impairment, a text phone is available on 18000.

Looking for help: where to start?

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If you are not in immediate danger, here are some other ways you can reach out for help. We understand there are many practical and psychological barriers to leaving an abusive relationship – but don’t get overwhelmed. There are people who can help you get through it and advise you on exactly the steps you need to take.

1 Call 101 or visit your local police station if it’s not an emergency. You can report a crime, or speak to an officer for advice.

2. Visit a SARC – Sexual Assault Referral Centre. They offer medical examinations, contact the police on your behalf, refer you to further services, to anyone who has been recently sexually assaulted. To find your nearest SARC visit http://thesurvivorstrust.org/sarc/ or call the NHS 111 non-emergency number.

3 Planning to leave the relationship? – if you want to leave your abusive relationship, it is a good idea to have a plan before you do to ensure you are safe and know what steps to take. There are organisations that can give you advice and professionals who can help you plan. Speak to one of them (on our chat), and have a look at this guide by Living Without Abuse.

4 Visit your GP – they can help you with both physical injuries and emotional impacts related to the abuse, and refer you to specialist services.

I’m worried someone I know is being abused. What do I do?

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It can be really upsetting if someone confines in you that they are in an abusive relationship, or if you suspect someone you know is suffering from abuse. Here are a few tips to approach the situation.

Keep contact. People experiencing abuse often feel isolated and can push away those close to them. It’s extremely important that you try to maintain contact with them, to reassure them you are there whenever they need you.

Listen and believe them. You might be the first or only person they are opening up to, so your support is extremely important.

Be sensitive. They are going through something very difficult and can be in a really vulnerable state. Don’t judge them and try to be positive and kind.

Acknowledge that their situation is difficult, and that they need to make their own choices in their own time. If you push them or criticise them for not leaving, it might push them away and make them feel more isolated.

Be positive. Tell them there are always options, that there are people ready to support and help them, that things will get better.

Patience is key. What they are experiencing might be extremely difficult and complex, and it could take a long time to overcome the trauma. Be patient.

Reassure them. Remind them it’s not their fault and that they shouldn’t blame themselves, or feel ashamed.

Speak in private. Meet somewhere where they will be comfortable to speak to you in privacy, away from people’s ears and from fear the perpetrator might be around.

Show concern. Show them you are worried for their mental/physical health and that you have their best interest in mind. Ask them how they feel about what is happening.

Be honest. Sometimes sharing something personal of your own helps them to open up about their situation. Build trust with the person, show them you care and want to help.

Useful Resources

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For women

National Domestic Violence Helpline

24 hours
Freephone Helpline 0808 2000 247 

Solace Women’s Aid

Mon-Fri 10:00am- 4pm and Tue 6pm – 8pm
Freephone Helpline 0808 802 5565 
advice@solacewomensaid.org

National Rape Crisis Helpline

Everyday between 12pm - 2:30pm and 7pm - 9:30pm. Mon-Fri 3pm – 5:30pm
Freephone 0808 802 9999 Helpline

Jewish Women’s Aid Helpline

Mon-Thu 9:30am- 9:30pm
Freephone Helpline 0808 801 0500 

Muslim Women’s Helpline

Mon-Fri 10am- 4pm
Freephone Helpline 0800 999 5786

 

I am concerned about my child or someone I know

NSPCC Child Protection Helpline

24 hours
Freephone Helpline 0808 800 500

MOSAC Helpline

Mon-Fri 10am - 6pm
Freephone Helpline 0800 980 1958

 

For men

ManKind

Mon-Fri 10am - 4pm
Freephone Helpline 
0182 333 4244

Men's Advice Line

Mon-Fri 9am - 5pm
020 7251 6575

Survivors UK

020 7251 6575
Or visit their site http://www.survivorsuk.org for more information

National Rape Crisis Helpline

Everyday between 12pm - 2:30pm and 7pm - 9:30pm. Mon-Fri 3pm – 5:30pm
Freephone Helpline 0808 802 9999 

For LGBT

National LGBT+ Domestic Abuse Helpline

Mon, Tues, Fri 10am- 5pm, Wed & Thu 10am- 8pm
Freephone Helpline 0800 999 5428 

London LGBT+ Advice Line

020 7704 2040 

Switchboard LGBT+ Helpline

Everyday 10am- 10pm
Freephone Helpline 0300 330 0630 


I need Legal Advice

Call the National Centre for Domestic Violence on:

0207 186 8270 or 0800 970 2070
Or visit their site http://www.ncdv.org.uk/ for more information
For information on getting an induction, free legal advice, or making a referral, for both women and men victims of abuse.

Call Rights of Women on:

020 7251 6575
Or visit their site http://www.rightsofwomen.org.uk for more information
More details on how to report abuse and sexual crime to the police can be found on this document by Rights of Women.

Call The Association of Child Abuse Lawyers on:

0208 390 4701
Or visit their site http://www.childabuselawyers.com/ for more information
For practical support on how to obtain redress and find the right legal support

Visit the Law Society website

to find a solicitor near you http://www.lawsociety.org.uk/find-a-solicitor/